Uda man

H has been out of town with the kids visiting family in Missouri and Kansas. So, I’ve been alone at home. Most of that time I’ve spent working on either Church stuff like a ward cannery activity and a temple visit, or honey-do projects, like building a new ladder for the play structure, doing some minor tile replacement, and doing a refinishing project in the master shower that turned out to be far more than I bargained for.

I have been too busy bother turning on the TV--I don't watch much, anyway--but I have done a couple of enjoyable things, like seeing Robin Hood at the dollar movie on Friday and dinner at a local Vietnamese place after a long day of work on Saturday. At the Vietnamese restaurant, my server was a pleasant young man of about 20 with a thick accent (Vietnamese, I assume). He took my order, then asked, “I have a question. What’s uda?”

“Uda?”

“Uda.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Hu-da.”

“Huda. Hmm…I’m sorry, I don’t know,” I finally conceded, having no idea what he was talking about.

“Hudas, like the restaurant, with the shirt.”

Light bulb. “Hooters?” I asked tentatively.

“Yes! Hudas! What does it mean?”

Oh, that. Yes, I do know what that means, and I meekly explained the word and the concept of the restaurant as I understand it, never having been there myself. “Beeg, boobs,” I heard him say to himself deliberately as he walked away.

The vermicelli noodles with charbroiled lemon grass chicken and chopped spring rolls, lettuce, and cucumbers was outstanding, by the way. Maybe I’m not a typical guy, but I’ll continue to take my bachelor week dinners at Pho Thong Lang or at home instead of “Udas,” thank you.

Wilt Chamberlain, is that you?

Today, I received a contract back from a client with the following change made to our contract:

"[Party] shall indemnify, defend, and hold harmless…the indemniteeies for personal injury, death, or loss of or damage to property resulting from the indemnitor’s inseminator's negligence, GROSS NEGLIGENCE or WILLFUL MISCONDUCT."

I didn't point out to my client that he is supposed to read and negotiate the contract as far as possible before sending it to me. I simply inserted a comment in the document:

"Inseminator? Does this arrangement contemplate negligent impregnation??"

I didn't know we were in that line of business, but maybe the guy from the other company should stop inappropriately multitasking at work.

Dog days are here

I haven't blogged recently, out of a combination of laziness, busyness, and the fact that my company filter was blocking blogger for a few weeks for some reason.

I had a great visit with my brother and his family earlier this month in Vermont. I had imagined Vermont to be a nicer, more rural version of Connecticut. Maybe my memory is faulty, but I feel I owe Vermont an apology. It is 100 times nicer than CT, at least in the summer. We loved our trip, from playing in the river that runs along my brother's property, to short hikes in the Green Mountains, to seeing the many quaint towns and admiring the lack of neon signs--indeed, any large signs. We had a great time, and I was happy to see everyone get along. Our parents came from Utah as well, and all of the cousins really enjoyed seeing them.

While in VT, we were able to go to Sharon, the birthplace of Joseph Smith. My brother's family graciously came along as part of a day doing other activities as well, and dutifully watched the lengthy-but-good film about Joseph Smith's life. The site was beautiful, though nothing was left of the original Smith cabin but the hearthstone and the porch stone. Still, it gave me a few minutes to reflect on the life of this remarkable man, and to pledge to try more fully in my own way to use the talents I have been given to help others and to make my life a reflection of a disciple of Christ.

Now, I'm back home, but the family is gone. My oldest daugher continued on to NYC with my parents, who have started a great tradition of taking grandchildren on a special trip the year they turn 12. S seemed to have a great time in the city and was able to see many of the iconic destinations, like the Statue of Liberty, a Broadway play, and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Now, she's back in Utah for a couple more weeks of fun, and the rest of the family is in Kansas and Missouri visiting family. I'm here working, unfortunately.

I've been trying to use the time to get some minor projects done, which is just the kind of stuff I hate doing. After weighing myself at my brother's house and being concerned by the results--my own scale has been broken for a while--I've also tried to eat more healthy food and get plenty of exercise this week. Doesn't fit the bachelor stereotype, I know, but I need to get in better shape.

After mowing the law, I went to the community pool last night to cool off and swim some laps. The water felt like a bathtub, though, and with my fitness level, I soon felt like I was sweating in the water. I remember, I earned the Mile Swim patch as an afterthought when I was a scout. I was swimming all the time and had no worry about swimming just one mile. I got the patch one day at scout camp when I had nothing better to do. I hadn't tried to swim any distance in 20+ years, though. After about 150 yards, I already felt tired. Ultimately, I swam 1200 yards, or about 3/4 mile, but I was beat, and I still felt exhausted when I woke up this morning. Pathetic.

Okay, so I just checked, and the pool is supposedly 50 meters long in that configuration, so I guess I swam slightly over 3/4 mile, not slightly under. Still, it's sad to think that my lifetime peak physical conditioning peaked at around 13-15. At least my kids can't beat me yet in running or swimming sprints--but that won't last much longer if I don't get serious about my fitness.