Golf fiasco

The law department here has a summer golf series for attorneys. My boss is an avid golfer, and he encouraged me to give it a try, so I signed up to play yesterday. It seemed like a good opportunity to network with colleagues and have a nice time. It's semi-sponsored, meaning we pay our own green fees, but the company gives us the time off if we can get our work done. This was my first time, so I wasn't quite sure to expect, but I'm not a very good golfer, so I was just hoping to keep up enough to enjoy some pleasant company. I was hopeful, because I had a pretty good outing last time I went with my son.

The venue was the Tournament Course in The Woodlands, a course that has hosted numerous PGA events and an LPGA world championship. It is a spectacular course. Unfortunately, the address on the email directed me to the main address for the country club, which was the Palmer Course. I didn't know this until after I'd changed in the locker room, unable to put my clothes in a locker since I was not a member. I eventually found out at the pro shop that there was no group from my company there that day. I was given directions, which included turning on Mill Bend Dr., which was several miles away.

I raced to my car and drove back. When I got to Millbend Dr., I recognized where I was and turned in to the golf course near The Woodlands conference center. I quickly raced to the pro shop, apologized for being late, and tried to pay my green fees.

Oops, again. It turns out there is a N. Milbend and a S. Millbend, and I was at the wrong course yet again. By this time, I was flustered. I hate being late, I didn't know the people I'd be playing with, and I am not a good golfer. I finally made it to the right course, but the golf pro said I wasn't on the list. No worries, I paid my $80 (ouch!!) green fees and raced out just as the last group from my company was teeing off. They seemed surprised to see me, but were friendly. I was the only one wearing long pants in the Texas heat, and I had conveniently left my golf shoes home, thinking I'd left them in my car from last time I played with my son.

Completely unnerved by this point, I stepped up and whacked my drive into some trees with a loud thunk. And, that's how the round went. It was my luck to be in a threesome with an attorney who was a very good golfer and a ringer from a different department brought in to score points for one of the teams. They were both very good, and well, I was not.

The Tournament Course is a beautiful course. At each tee box, there is a bronze sign telling players how some PGA player or other made it famous through brilliant or sloppy play at some event. The greens and fairways are well-manicured, the trees are mature and beautiful, water and white-sand bunkers abound, and one green is on an island. And the course is HARD.

The course website helpfully tells you that two of the holes were rated two of the four most difficult holes in Texas. Well, it showed for me. I went through a huge store of balls lost in the water, and a couple lost in the rough. The fairways are narrow, and the water and bunkers are set up not just to be beautiful, but to gobble up errant shots.

I played most of the round poorly, even by my standards. I felt foolish compared to these two very strong golfers. Midway through, I was thinking to myself that I never wanted to play golf again and hoping my store of balls would last (I lost probably ten balls). A couple of times, to avoid slowing the group, I took favorable drops across the water or nearer the green. Luckily, as I was at a low point, I started hitting a few shots better and getting a couple of bogeys. Towards the end, we caught up with another twosome from the company and played a few holes with them. This was so much better, as they were not nearly as good of golfers. They were still better than me, but one guy lost several balls over those holes and hit his share of bad shots. The heat was brutal early on, but it cooled and eventually turned into rain towards the end of the round.

We were the last group and were slowed by congestion in front of us, so some of the people had left by the time we made it to the clubhouse, but there was food and good company waiting for us when we arrived. It turned out to be okay, and I was able to meet some other lawyers from the company. But, I've decided I either need to play golf more or less. Since I now have two kids old enough to play with me a wife who likes to play from time to time, I'll probably keep playing and rotate who I take. But, it will certainly be at cheaper, cruddy courses, because I can't afford those green fees (and I'm not a member of and have zero desire to join a country club). Luckily, the next golf outing isn't for a few months--few people want to play midday in the middle of the summer here--so I've got time to think about it.