Well, it's been busy, all right. I see that I haven't blogged in some time. Does this mean the blog is going comatose again? Maybe. I'm not promising anything.
However, an update for those one or two readers out there who may be wondering--I'm realistic about my blog traffic--after stops and starts too numerous to mention, I am basically settled into my new home, with a little minor unpacking still to go. It is not the original home I picked out, as that one ended up with lots of inspection issues. The home I am in needed a new roof and some HVAC work, but the seller was willing to pay for most of it. I actually like this house better than the other one, too. The roof has been replaced, but the HVAC work is still in progress. It is supposed to be complete on Saturday. Luckily, it still cools well enough in the meantime, because last month was by far the hottest this city has ever seen. 30 of 31 days hit 100 degrees or higher. I thought I was living in Texas, not Phoenix. We are also in a terrible drought, which makes the fact that my new house has only front sprinkers mildly annoying. But rain may be in the forecast for this weekend, so we'll see.
Also, in case anyone is mourning my forlorn status alone in my new house, I'm seeing plenty of my kids. H has been a bit difficult to deal with, but I think we are slowly settling into a routine. I like that I get them every weekend, since that is most of the time I have off in any case. Also, despite my forlorn status, I have managed to go on a date and had a lot of fun. We will be seeing each other again soon.
Well, I've been asked to substitute teach the gospel doctrine class in my new ward on Sunday, so I really should get back to preparing my lesson. The regular teacher is very smart and well-prepared, and I haven't taught adults anything but legal compliance anytime recently. But at least I have spent enough time teaching over the years that I don't have to worry about being nervous. I just wish I knew more names of people in the new ward. I'm not great with names.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Busy week
It's very time consuming to get divorced while writing the documents yourself, selling a house, and buying two others. Also since my last post, H backed out of the new house, went back to her original choice, got an inspection and found out it was garbage, and now again wants to make an offer on the house I mentioned in my last post. There are a lot of houses here that have foundation problems from soil heave caused by the high clay content, which makes the soil expand and contract according to the moisture level. It's the only place I've ever been where when a drought comes, instead of telling you to water less, they tell you to water your trees more, and to water your foundation. It's funny to me, being from the West.
Anyway, my inspection on the new house is scheduled for Monday morning. I won't post pictures, as it seemed to jinx me last time.
I have also had a busy week finalizing the divorce papers. I had to make an extra trip to the courthouse and rewrite quite a bit of what I had done--not for substantive reasons, but for technicalities. That was always a problem I had when I did litigation. It can be fun to catch the other side on the rules, but it seems that so many cases turn not on the substantive merits of the case, but on procedural jots and tittles. Anyway, after much work, the papers now seem to be in order, so I just need to wait until the judge, who will be out for a bit at a judicial conference, can sign them. But I think I can pretty much stop writing about divorce papers and proceedings now.
Anyway, my inspection on the new house is scheduled for Monday morning. I won't post pictures, as it seemed to jinx me last time.
I have also had a busy week finalizing the divorce papers. I had to make an extra trip to the courthouse and rewrite quite a bit of what I had done--not for substantive reasons, but for technicalities. That was always a problem I had when I did litigation. It can be fun to catch the other side on the rules, but it seems that so many cases turn not on the substantive merits of the case, but on procedural jots and tittles. Anyway, after much work, the papers now seem to be in order, so I just need to wait until the judge, who will be out for a bit at a judicial conference, can sign them. But I think I can pretty much stop writing about divorce papers and proceedings now.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Dilemma solved (hopefully)
I think the Lord knows it's sometimes hard for me to make decisions. That is why, I seem to struggle with options for a long time, then have all but one foreclosed to me. It turns out that the newer home in the same ward is under contract to someone else. Meanwhile, H has likely decided to buy a different house that turns out to be in the other ward I was looking in. Problem solved, hopefully. We'll see what happens with contract negotiations and inspections, but I visited the house again this evening and felt like it would be a good place to be.
Meanwhile, it looks like our buyers might back out. It's unclear whether they can't perform or are just letting us bribe them out of the contract, but our other buyers are still eagerly waiting and hoping to buy the house, so even if we pay the first buyers 5k not to buy our house, we come out roughly 15k ahead and have a more solid buyer that is able to close. There are so many moving parts, it will be a miracle if I make it through the next month, but when I do, things should be much more stable. I'll be writing up a written offer on the new first choice tomorrow. It's also got 4 br and a gameroom, same square footage as the other, but a floorplan I like better, and manages to squeeze in a small office which could double as a guest room or nursery if needed.
It also has great landscaping, with a lush, verdant, private courtyard in front, and a patio and multilevel deck in back. I just wish I had my dad's magical green thumb to care for it. Truth be told, though, a good chunk of my dad's magical green thumb is called hard work. I don't think anyone outside the immediate family--and maybe not us either--has any idea how much time he spends on his yard. He hosted a wedding reception for a cousin last month. I hear it was wonderful, and I know she was very gracious and grateful. However, since most of us see his yard as always beautiful, she may not realize he generally spends hundreds of extra hours making sure everything is as perfect as possible each time he agrees to host one of these events. He's a good man. But maybe just a touch obsessive about his perfect gardens. :-)
Meanwhile, it looks like our buyers might back out. It's unclear whether they can't perform or are just letting us bribe them out of the contract, but our other buyers are still eagerly waiting and hoping to buy the house, so even if we pay the first buyers 5k not to buy our house, we come out roughly 15k ahead and have a more solid buyer that is able to close. There are so many moving parts, it will be a miracle if I make it through the next month, but when I do, things should be much more stable. I'll be writing up a written offer on the new first choice tomorrow. It's also got 4 br and a gameroom, same square footage as the other, but a floorplan I like better, and manages to squeeze in a small office which could double as a guest room or nursery if needed.
It also has great landscaping, with a lush, verdant, private courtyard in front, and a patio and multilevel deck in back. I just wish I had my dad's magical green thumb to care for it. Truth be told, though, a good chunk of my dad's magical green thumb is called hard work. I don't think anyone outside the immediate family--and maybe not us either--has any idea how much time he spends on his yard. He hosted a wedding reception for a cousin last month. I hear it was wonderful, and I know she was very gracious and grateful. However, since most of us see his yard as always beautiful, she may not realize he generally spends hundreds of extra hours making sure everything is as perfect as possible each time he agrees to host one of these events. He's a good man. But maybe just a touch obsessive about his perfect gardens. :-)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
More homes
I saw about 15 homes yesterday late afternoon and evening. It's been great to have the stake primary president showing me homes, because she understand my situation and also knows something about the different wards where I've been looking. I have narrowed it to two homes.
One is a new house that is zoned to a different high school but is in the same ward, which is good and bad, since there are very few kids the ages of my older two. The other is zoned to the same high school, which will be quite a bit more convenient for early morning seminary purposes when we cross that bridge, but is in a different ward. It has more character and I like it better, despite the fact it's not new. It's been well taken care of and is not a cookie-cutter home. It's actually in my Realtor's ward, which I understand has more kids the ages of my older ones. We may check it out tomorrow morning.
H, sadly, seems to be abruptly done with LDS church services. She's going to two different churches tomorrow, one an independent, megachurch she's visited a couple of times with a friend, and the other a "gay friendly" church she heard about from some lesbian acquaintances. I've been wrong plenty of times before and wish her no ill at all, but I just don't see how H looks back five years from now and thinks her life is better than it was, say, a year ago. OTOH, I think my life will improve immediately as soon as the divorce is final. Hmm, never thought I'd make that statement. :-/ But I'm confident I'll be okay; I am at heart an optimist in nearly every situation.
One is a new house that is zoned to a different high school but is in the same ward, which is good and bad, since there are very few kids the ages of my older two. The other is zoned to the same high school, which will be quite a bit more convenient for early morning seminary purposes when we cross that bridge, but is in a different ward. It has more character and I like it better, despite the fact it's not new. It's been well taken care of and is not a cookie-cutter home. It's actually in my Realtor's ward, which I understand has more kids the ages of my older ones. We may check it out tomorrow morning.
H, sadly, seems to be abruptly done with LDS church services. She's going to two different churches tomorrow, one an independent, megachurch she's visited a couple of times with a friend, and the other a "gay friendly" church she heard about from some lesbian acquaintances.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
$700 wasted and well spent
I got the inspection report back on my new house today. It looks like I may need to keep looking. The engineer identified numerous problems with the house that need correcting, several of which are pretty major. So, unless the seller wants to make significant repairs, and I'm guessing they don't, I'll need to keep looking. I'm back to square one a little bit. I'm looking at places in an adjacent community but still the same ward. They are quite a bit newer, lower maintenance, and much more energy efficient, but smaller and with higher taxes and HOA dues. I'm going to keep negotiating with the sellers of the other place, but looking at more houses tomorrow with my Realtor. She's been great and is also the stake Primary president, so she can also tell me about wards if I end up in a different one.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Deliberate practice and chess
My negotiations professor used to stress the importance of deliberate, reflective practice as a way of developing expertise. One of the examples he used was of chess grandmasters. It apparently takes 10,000 hours of practice to achieve preeminence in chess. But, it can't be any type of practice; it has to be deliberate and reflective. That is why we had to keep a negotiations journal where we would reflect on our experience and make improvement plans.
That's why I found this article from one of my favorite blogs interesting:
http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/06/20/what-chess-tells-us-about-the-value-of-perception/.
I dabbled in chess back in the day and was my high school's chess club president. I won a few amateur tournaments in my ratings brackets, but my ELO rating never broke 1500, let alone approached the level of expert or master. I believe part of the reason is because I enjoyed playing chess as a game, was pretty successful against players in my own chess club, and was satisfied with that. I would sometimes try different openings, but I didn't record my games, seriously study chess strategy, or otherwise reflect on my performance. As a result, I plateaued relatively quickly and thereafter made but little progress.
Grandmasters, on the other hand, can recognize up to 10,000 common positions and know how to play them out, but if pieces are placed randomly on the board, they do no better at remembering the position of the pieces than non-players. It is the recognition of past patterns and knowing how they fit into the broader context that gives world-class expertise in chess and many other fields.
In other areas of my life where I have tried to apply deliberate, reflective practice, I have seen more rapid learning and less of a plateau effect.
Incidentally, I believe one reason personal journals in general can be a good idea is they can make life itself deliberate and reflective. If you keep a journal, or even if you are just thinking about your goals, ask yourself: What do you want? What are you doing to accomplish it? How is that working for you? If results are not as you'd like, what might you do differently to achieve what you most desire?
Yep, this is sort of a non-sequitur for this blog, but I'm nothing if not varied in my interests, plus I wanted to write about something more upbeat than my current struggles.
That's why I found this article from one of my favorite blogs interesting:
http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/06/20/what-chess-tells-us-about-the-value-of-perception/.
I dabbled in chess back in the day and was my high school's chess club president. I won a few amateur tournaments in my ratings brackets, but my ELO rating never broke 1500, let alone approached the level of expert or master. I believe part of the reason is because I enjoyed playing chess as a game, was pretty successful against players in my own chess club, and was satisfied with that. I would sometimes try different openings, but I didn't record my games, seriously study chess strategy, or otherwise reflect on my performance. As a result, I plateaued relatively quickly and thereafter made but little progress.
Grandmasters, on the other hand, can recognize up to 10,000 common positions and know how to play them out, but if pieces are placed randomly on the board, they do no better at remembering the position of the pieces than non-players. It is the recognition of past patterns and knowing how they fit into the broader context that gives world-class expertise in chess and many other fields.
In other areas of my life where I have tried to apply deliberate, reflective practice, I have seen more rapid learning and less of a plateau effect.
Incidentally, I believe one reason personal journals in general can be a good idea is they can make life itself deliberate and reflective. If you keep a journal, or even if you are just thinking about your goals, ask yourself: What do you want? What are you doing to accomplish it? How is that working for you? If results are not as you'd like, what might you do differently to achieve what you most desire?
Yep, this is sort of a non-sequitur for this blog, but I'm nothing if not varied in my interests, plus I wanted to write about something more upbeat than my current struggles.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Another offer? and more
Both our original and back up offers seem determined to close on the house if possible, but now a couple who could have had the house a few weeks ago say they want to make an offer. I suppose I should be hoping the original buyers back out, since the secoond buyers have a good offer and we might even get a bidding war. But, I confess to just being tired out from it.
Last night, H and I had some good friends over to help us mediate outstanding issues. It seemed unfruitful at first, but I think has led to a different approach for co-parenting that will work better and allow for lots of contact at the times that are most important to me. I expect we will have something court-ready in the next couple of days. Technically, since we are pro se parties, we are required to have a court-designated volunteer lawyer stamp the papers, which should be very straightforward, since we should finally be in agreement. Once that happens, it will be done except for the judge rubber-stamping it. If it's been reviewed and agreed by the parties, the judge will not change it absent fraud, etc., but there are only a few hours a month when the judge handles this type of matter, so while it will really be done, it will take another week or two for the decree to actually be entered. It's sad, yet liberating, after so much pain. I feel I've done my best to keep a level head through this process; I haven't been perfect, but I have no major regrets.
You are free to choose your actions, but you are not free to choose the consequences that flow out of those actions, a theme that appears over and over in the Book of Mormon.
Last night, H and I had some good friends over to help us mediate outstanding issues. It seemed unfruitful at first, but I think has led to a different approach for co-parenting that will work better and allow for lots of contact at the times that are most important to me. I expect we will have something court-ready in the next couple of days. Technically, since we are pro se parties, we are required to have a court-designated volunteer lawyer stamp the papers, which should be very straightforward, since we should finally be in agreement. Once that happens, it will be done except for the judge rubber-stamping it. If it's been reviewed and agreed by the parties, the judge will not change it absent fraud, etc., but there are only a few hours a month when the judge handles this type of matter, so while it will really be done, it will take another week or two for the decree to actually be entered. It's sad, yet liberating, after so much pain. I feel I've done my best to keep a level head through this process; I haven't been perfect, but I have no major regrets.
You are free to choose your actions, but you are not free to choose the consequences that flow out of those actions, a theme that appears over and over in the Book of Mormon.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Psalm 42
This Psalm has been on my mind lately. Here is my version:
My soul, O God, doth pant for thee--
I lap up truth on bended knee.
When shall thy face adorn my gaze?
My tears are meat both night and days.
My enemies do me deride:
Where is thy God? Where doth He hide?"
Yet I have kept thy holy days,
And sung with voice of joy and praise.
Why art thou cast down, O my soul?
Yet hope in God to make thee whole.
I will remember what God wrought,
Through angry deep with billows fraught.
And if, to distant Jordan's hill
My pathway leads, I'll praise thee still.
Thy lovingkindness shall not cease,
Midst toil and strife, I'll know thy peace.
Awake, my soul, and praise him yet--
Thy God shall never thee forget.
My soul, O God, doth pant for thee--
I lap up truth on bended knee.
When shall thy face adorn my gaze?
My tears are meat both night and days.
My enemies do me deride:
Where is thy God? Where doth He hide?"
Yet I have kept thy holy days,
And sung with voice of joy and praise.
Why art thou cast down, O my soul?
Yet hope in God to make thee whole.
I will remember what God wrought,
Through angry deep with billows fraught.
And if, to distant Jordan's hill
My pathway leads, I'll praise thee still.
Thy lovingkindness shall not cease,
Midst toil and strife, I'll know thy peace.
Awake, my soul, and praise him yet--
Thy God shall never thee forget.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Exhaustion
It's been a long week again. I'm just hoping to make it through the next few. I put on a good face outside, but the constant tension wears on me. I'm naturally a conflict avoider, career in law notwithstanding. I like to do transactional law, because it entails getting two people who want to work together to the table and finding a way to make it happen and memorialize the deal. Negotiation I enjoy, too, but litigation is not my thing. H is much more emotional and prone to much more extreme highs and lows, to put it kindly. I've had to try very hard to keep myself in check as we've tried to finalize details of the parenting plan. I'd hoped to go to court on Monday to get it approved, but it looks like that won't happen.
On the positive side, I got the signed contract back in writing on the house I am buying, so that's proceeding well. It looks like our prime buyers on the current house don't want to back out, so we'll just lose that money, but that's life. You make a contract, you live with it for better or worse.
In the evening, I played a nice game of Ticket to Ride with S and J. It's one of the better games for our family. I thought I had it sewn up, but S pulled out a couple of great routes at the end and won, 102-100, and J didn't play a bad game, either. I love playing games of all kinds, so it's nice to have kids who are getting old enough that playing with them is fun for the game's sake, and not just because I'm spending time with them.
On the positive side, I got the signed contract back in writing on the house I am buying, so that's proceeding well. It looks like our prime buyers on the current house don't want to back out, so we'll just lose that money, but that's life. You make a contract, you live with it for better or worse.
In the evening, I played a nice game of Ticket to Ride with S and J. It's one of the better games for our family. I thought I had it sewn up, but S pulled out a couple of great routes at the end and won, 102-100, and J didn't play a bad game, either. I love playing games of all kinds, so it's nice to have kids who are getting old enough that playing with them is fun for the game's sake, and not just because I'm spending time with them.
More house craziness
Considering my existing house is under contract, things have sure been crazy. People seem to be ignoring the "option pending" and coming to see it in droves. For that, I do credit H's hard work, plus the insane amount of time spent by our friends Darin and Kelly and Laura helping us stage the house.
Anyway, because we have a better offer in writing as a backup, we were hoping to persuade our original buyers that the house wasn't as great as they thought. We told them we will not be fixing or replacing anything based on inspections and encouraged them to come back to see for themselves. H had the house not look as good as before. Apparently, though, they weren't convinced. Meanwhile, the backup buyers came yet again yesterday to see the house and reiterate how much they want it. And, no fewer than three other buyers came yesterday, including a last-minute call at 7:00 for a second showing by another serious buyer as I was settling in with the kids to watch a movie. A change of plans and a quick trip to Baskin Robbins followed. Good thing I went swimming yesterday morning. Crazy.
H is actually going to call the prime buyers today and give them a sob story about how she is divorcing and needs the extra money and try to convince them to let her close with the other buyers. She wanted to break the contract, but I told her (1) our integrity is not for sale, and (2) I don't want to get sued. It's gotten too stressful for me. Money is nice, but I also just want to close this chapter of life, and I need to close on this house in time in order to close on my new place.
Wendy, it makes me want to barf. ;-)
Anyway, because we have a better offer in writing as a backup, we were hoping to persuade our original buyers that the house wasn't as great as they thought. We told them we will not be fixing or replacing anything based on inspections and encouraged them to come back to see for themselves. H had the house not look as good as before. Apparently, though, they weren't convinced. Meanwhile, the backup buyers came yet again yesterday to see the house and reiterate how much they want it. And, no fewer than three other buyers came yesterday, including a last-minute call at 7:00 for a second showing by another serious buyer as I was settling in with the kids to watch a movie. A change of plans and a quick trip to Baskin Robbins followed. Good thing I went swimming yesterday morning. Crazy.
H is actually going to call the prime buyers today and give them a sob story about how she is divorcing and needs the extra money and try to convince them to let her close with the other buyers. She wanted to break the contract, but I told her (1) our integrity is not for sale, and (2) I don't want to get sued. It's gotten too stressful for me. Money is nice, but I also just want to close this chapter of life, and I need to close on this house in time in order to close on my new place.
Wendy, it makes me want to barf. ;-)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
New Digs
I've just learned that my offer on a new house for the reimagined Himni Family has been accepted. It's much smaller than the current house, which is a good thing, because that one was just too big. Still 4 br and ample space, though. It's not particularly new, but has just had quite a few upgrades as a short sale and flip, mostly to the all-important kitchen and master bath. Here are a few pics:
And another great thing? It's 5 minutes from here. Now, I just have to hope that everything goes well with the inspections. One reason I'm in Texas? My mortgage on this place will be about $600/mo. Yes, taxes and utilities bite hard here, but there is no state income tax in Texas. Come on down for a visit, y'all! Just give me a few weeks to close and move in...
Front view
Den into breakfast room
The shower is great, with colored inset tiles.
Game room for ping pong or billiards.
And another great thing? It's 5 minutes from here. Now, I just have to hope that everything goes well with the inspections. One reason I'm in Texas? My mortgage on this place will be about $600/mo. Yes, taxes and utilities bite hard here, but there is no state income tax in Texas. Come on down for a visit, y'all! Just give me a few weeks to close and move in...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
More lyrics: The Path
Here's a piece I've been working on. It feels good to be writing again, from both a creative and spiritual perspective. I wrote a ton of songs and skits at Wood Badge--some of the other campers thought I was on staff--but they were light and fun. This is more serious and hopefully better crafted.
Jehovah, help in ages past,
To thee I cry from thorny path,
Where sin and error would entwine,
Betwixt me and the one true Vine.
I thirst for living water, pure,
Which every malady may cure.
I yearn for righteousness, but faint--
O help me, God walk as a saint!
For errors made and virtue lost,
I seek the blood, the nails, the cross--
Cry Abba, Father, unto thee,
As path leads through Gethsemane.
At last, though my poor flesh should bleed,
To empty tomb my pathway leads,
Where I shall triumph o'er my foes,
And rest with thee in sweet repose.
Jehovah, help in ages past,
To thee I cry from thorny path,
Where sin and error would entwine,
Betwixt me and the one true Vine.
I thirst for living water, pure,
Which every malady may cure.
I yearn for righteousness, but faint--
O help me, God walk as a saint!
For errors made and virtue lost,
I seek the blood, the nails, the cross--
Cry Abba, Father, unto thee,
As path leads through Gethsemane.
At last, though my poor flesh should bleed,
To empty tomb my pathway leads,
Where I shall triumph o'er my foes,
And rest with thee in sweet repose.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Happy Barfday and new offer
After I wrote last night, L came down complaining of a terrible headache. I got her some peas and tried to calm her while I finished cleaning up the house. She fell asleep in my bed, but then woke up throwing up while I was reading my scriptures. Bummer. It turns out that, while she hadn't eaten much pizza, she must have consumed a very large quantity of blueberries earlier, because I had a mass of purple nastiness on my bedsheets. Parenting is not for the faint of heart.
In theoretically better news, we got a (verbal) offer on the house today that is 20k better than the offer we just accepted. Unfortunately, we're locked in unless the other people back out, but we can tell them we won't make any repairs, etc. and generally hold them to the exact letter of the contract. We'll see if the other couple comes through in writing. At least there is a very high interest level in the property, thanks to some dear friends who spent quite a bit of time helping us stage it.
In theoretically better news, we got a (verbal) offer on the house today that is 20k better than the offer we just accepted. Unfortunately, we're locked in unless the other people back out, but we can tell them we won't make any repairs, etc. and generally hold them to the exact letter of the contract. We'll see if the other couple comes through in writing. At least there is a very high interest level in the property, thanks to some dear friends who spent quite a bit of time helping us stage it.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Christmas in July: Emmanuel, Emmanuel
Remember the Christmas in July sales? They don't seem to happen much anymore, but here's a bit of Christmas in July. It's a contrafactum I wrote last year for O Tannenbaum. I haven't been writing as much lately, but I feel I'm coming out of a dormant period, and reading my old stuff gets my creative juices flowing. Besides, I have to write some Psalm texts as part of one of my ticket items from the Wood Badge course I attended in May.
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, is born in lowly stable.
No royal bed to lay his head, a manger is his cradle,
While Mary watches through the night,
The star shines down its holy light--
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, is born in lowly stable
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, the shepherds kneel before thee.
No gift to bring the newborn King, they only shall adore thee.
The sheep now bleat, the oxen call,
To praise the God and Lord of all--
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, the shepherds kneel before thee.
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, O may I e'er remember,
Through deepest plight and dark of night, thy love a burning ember--
The price paid in Gethsemane,
The cruel cross on Calvary--
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, O may I e'er remember.
Emmanuel, Emmanurl, O let thy arms enfold me
Till life is done, the vic'try won. O may I then behold thee.
Before thy throne, on bended knee,
I'll praise thy name eternally!
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, O let thy arms enfold me.
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, is born in lowly stable.
No royal bed to lay his head, a manger is his cradle,
While Mary watches through the night,
The star shines down its holy light--
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, is born in lowly stable
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, the shepherds kneel before thee.
No gift to bring the newborn King, they only shall adore thee.
The sheep now bleat, the oxen call,
To praise the God and Lord of all--
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, the shepherds kneel before thee.
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, O may I e'er remember,
Through deepest plight and dark of night, thy love a burning ember--
The price paid in Gethsemane,
The cruel cross on Calvary--
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, O may I e'er remember.
Emmanuel, Emmanurl, O let thy arms enfold me
Till life is done, the vic'try won. O may I then behold thee.
Before thy throne, on bended knee,
I'll praise thy name eternally!
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, O let thy arms enfold me.
One year older and wiser, too?
Today is my birthday. Not many 7-11's where I live, so no free Slurpee for me this year. It's been a crazy year when I reflect upon it. Last birthday, I'm pretty sure I spent alone because H had just come out of the closet to me and rushed off of a sudden to visit her family. I wish the past year had been easier, but I hope I have used the experience to become a better person.
On a happier note, I didn't mention that I spent last week in the San Antonio and hill country area of Texas with all but my oldest child. She stayed home with her mom at the last minute. We had a very busy week, with two visits to Sea World, a trip to the Six Flags amusement park, the Witte science museum, an underground cavern tour, a hike and search for lizards, swimming, games, a drive-through safari, a 3-D movie, and more. We all had a good time. The only thing is, the #1 thing I wanted to see was the Alamo, and somehow it didn't happen. The day we were going there was early in the trip, and the kids just got too tired out after the Witte, so I altered our plans. Somehow, the week then slipped away from us in a flurry of roller coaster rides and dolphins. Oh, well. It's not so far away; I'll just have to get back to San Antonio for another visit.
Tonight we ate pizza and had some friends over to play Taboo. I hadn't played that game for a while. I usually pick more strategic games to play, and H was never much into word games, anyway, but I had a great time tonight. I like strategy, but I also enjoy quick-thinking games that get everyone involved and laughing. And, I admit, I'm just generally competitive and like winning, though I think I've learned to only take the game about as seriously as my playing partner to keep things fun for everyone.
On a happier note, I didn't mention that I spent last week in the San Antonio and hill country area of Texas with all but my oldest child. She stayed home with her mom at the last minute. We had a very busy week, with two visits to Sea World, a trip to the Six Flags amusement park, the Witte science museum, an underground cavern tour, a hike and search for lizards, swimming, games, a drive-through safari, a 3-D movie, and more. We all had a good time. The only thing is, the #1 thing I wanted to see was the Alamo, and somehow it didn't happen. The day we were going there was early in the trip, and the kids just got too tired out after the Witte, so I altered our plans. Somehow, the week then slipped away from us in a flurry of roller coaster rides and dolphins. Oh, well. It's not so far away; I'll just have to get back to San Antonio for another visit.
Tonight we ate pizza and had some friends over to play Taboo. I hadn't played that game for a while. I usually pick more strategic games to play, and H was never much into word games, anyway, but I had a great time tonight. I like strategy, but I also enjoy quick-thinking games that get everyone involved and laughing. And, I admit, I'm just generally competitive and like winning, though I think I've learned to only take the game about as seriously as my playing partner to keep things fun for everyone.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
House selling and buying
The house is under contract, so that's one more thing taken care of so we can move forward (We're selling it because neither of us needs something so large; in fact, it was more house than we really needed from the beginning). But, it was crazy getting here. We had a supposed sure offer a couple of weeks ago, but the couople wanted to pray about it. Then, they said they would make an offer after their vacation. Meanwhile, H has been showing the house almost daily for several weeks, sometimes more than once per day.
Several days ago, we had an offer, but it wasn't great. We countered and got it somewhat higher, but we'd still be taking a loss. Then, late last night, we got a considerably better offer from a couple who are also BYU graduates. I don't like negotiating on Sunday, but they were from out of state and had to get something arranged today. We were going back and forth and finally got everything worked out--until they asked how much our insurance is. This being the Gulf Coast, hurricanes and all, the premiums are quite a bit higher here than some other places. Apparently, it was 5-6x what they thought it would be (Are risks of loss that low in Seattle?). So, they just backed out.
Luckily, the other offer was still on the table, so we just accepted it. As I said, it's less than I'd like, but it is doable. I have an offer in on a place a mile or so from here, and H has just about got a place nailed down for herself. So, we're moving forward towards closure of this challenging chapter of life next month. In the meantime, I feel like the Lord is giving me tender mercies here and there whenever things seem to be getting rough. Selling the house in only a few weeks is one of those.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Odd day again
On a random note, I notice that I blogged about odd day on 5/7/9. Well, today is 7/9/11, another day composed of three consecutive odd numbers. I hope you did something a little odd today, since there are only two more such days this century.
Life reboot
Well, it's been about eight months since I last blogged. Life has been so hectic that I just haven't been able to. Plus, with Facebook, who blogs anymore? Maybe not even me, but I do miss those days when I wrote every day in my journal for several years running. It was therapeutic, if nothing else.
The good news is, I'm in much better shape than I was a year ago. I saw how I wrote about being very tired after swimming 3/4 mile. For the last six months, I've been swimming at least a mile twice and more often three times a week, and I've been more careful about my diet. I feel a lot better, my resting pulse is in the 50's, and I have lost over 20 pounds since last year. I am consistently below 180 after my workouts now, and I feel like I have a lot more energy.
On the other hand, some days I feel utterly drained, but that is because of what's been going on in my personal life. I read my old post about Prop 8 today. I stand by what I said, but with (1) much more empathy towards gay individuals, and (2) a sense of bitter irony, because H has come out of the closet and is leaving me. It's actually been a year, but we tried professional and priesthood counseling and anything else we could think of. But, things continued to deteriorate as H decided that this means she wants to order her life and priorities differently in other ways as well. She has said some things over the past year that have been very difficult for me to hear, and this is the most difficult thing I have ever faced.
Yet, my faith is in Jesus Christ and is not dependent on outcomes. My goal remains obedience to Him and to have an eternal family, and I am not giving up on that goal because of this painful turn of events. In fact, it has done much to strip away some of my pride and misplaced focus on worldly things and driven me to my knees in supplication to the Almighty. I would not seek this or wish it on anybody, whether the straight or the gay spouse, but I am trying to use it as a learning experience to become a better person. But, I admit, it has been very hard.
The papers have been filed, we are living more or less separately, the house is hopefully sold, and we are just waiting the required period before the divorce can become final in a few weeks. I went and looked at homes tonight with our Realtor. I have a fairly small set of homes to view because we are trying to stay in the same school boundaries, but I think I have identified a decent home that I can get at a decent price. There are a few areas that need some work, but it is mostly a very good layout and a good size, about 2,900 sf. That's ample for me, J, and L, and could easily accommodate more family members later if circumstances change.
Well, there is so much more I could say, but I'll leave it at that for now. I don't know if I'll blog again or not, since much of what I am thinking is so personal, but I appreciate the prayers and support of my family and other loved ones during this difficult time. I don't wish any ill on H, either, and want to move forward in a cooperative and healthy way. One positive is, while we don't always agree on what this means, we are both trying to keep foremost the best interests of the children.
The good news is, I'm in much better shape than I was a year ago. I saw how I wrote about being very tired after swimming 3/4 mile. For the last six months, I've been swimming at least a mile twice and more often three times a week, and I've been more careful about my diet. I feel a lot better, my resting pulse is in the 50's, and I have lost over 20 pounds since last year. I am consistently below 180 after my workouts now, and I feel like I have a lot more energy.
On the other hand, some days I feel utterly drained, but that is because of what's been going on in my personal life. I read my old post about Prop 8 today. I stand by what I said, but with (1) much more empathy towards gay individuals, and (2) a sense of bitter irony, because H has come out of the closet and is leaving me. It's actually been a year, but we tried professional and priesthood counseling and anything else we could think of. But, things continued to deteriorate as H decided that this means she wants to order her life and priorities differently in other ways as well. She has said some things over the past year that have been very difficult for me to hear, and this is the most difficult thing I have ever faced.
Yet, my faith is in Jesus Christ and is not dependent on outcomes. My goal remains obedience to Him and to have an eternal family, and I am not giving up on that goal because of this painful turn of events. In fact, it has done much to strip away some of my pride and misplaced focus on worldly things and driven me to my knees in supplication to the Almighty. I would not seek this or wish it on anybody, whether the straight or the gay spouse, but I am trying to use it as a learning experience to become a better person. But, I admit, it has been very hard.
The papers have been filed, we are living more or less separately, the house is hopefully sold, and we are just waiting the required period before the divorce can become final in a few weeks. I went and looked at homes tonight with our Realtor. I have a fairly small set of homes to view because we are trying to stay in the same school boundaries, but I think I have identified a decent home that I can get at a decent price. There are a few areas that need some work, but it is mostly a very good layout and a good size, about 2,900 sf. That's ample for me, J, and L, and could easily accommodate more family members later if circumstances change.
Well, there is so much more I could say, but I'll leave it at that for now. I don't know if I'll blog again or not, since much of what I am thinking is so personal, but I appreciate the prayers and support of my family and other loved ones during this difficult time. I don't wish any ill on H, either, and want to move forward in a cooperative and healthy way. One positive is, while we don't always agree on what this means, we are both trying to keep foremost the best interests of the children.
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